When I’m anxious it’s usually connected to me trying to control something I can’t actually control. More often than not, I’m stressing about the future and things working out a particular way.
I’m also incredibly organized and focused on detail. Those are great qualities for a resume but they tend to wreak havoc on my personal life. I have often looked back and felt like I missed everything because I was rushing through one thing to get to the next, just to check them off my list.
In the time it’s taken me to type these first few sentences, I’ve already mentally noted three more things I need to do this afternoon.
I have a hard time figuring out how to just be.
Learning how to be present and live in the moment is an ongoing process for me, but it’s one that has changed everything. I enjoy life more, my relationships are deeper and I find more meaning in everyday things. It’s hard to turn off my crazy monkey mind but here are five simple tools I’ve picked up along the way that might help you, too.
Settle in.
Just stop. Notice your posture, sit up tall and take a deep breath. It may sound silly, but stretch it out. Roll your neck from side to side. If you’re anything like me, you’ve stored a lot of tension from trying to manage the ins and outs of everything. Let that go.
Observe.
If you want to be present, you need to know what present is. Look around. Observe without judgement. My yoga teacher, Adriene Mishler, suggests to “replace judgement with curiosity”. Open your eyes and really see the people around you.
Check in.
Check in with yourself. I have a bad habit of shoving everything down and projecting whatever I think people want to see. It’s hard to be present with other people when you can’t be present with yourself. Go inward for a moment; How do you feel? What’s going on in your head? What’s really holding you back right now?
Engage.
Connect with the people around you. Check in with them the way you just did with yourself. See them for who they truly are and meet them where they are. Replace judgement with curiosity here, too. Trust me, it’s a game changer.
Smile, even just slightly.
Be grateful for this moment, whatever it looks like. You won’t have this moment forever, so take it in for everything it is and be thankful that you were a part of it.
Life is short, though it might not always seem that way. There are always things that need to get done, planning that needs to happen and details that need to be tended to. Let this moment be a detail you pay attention to. Balance in all things. Allow yourself the freedom to slow down and to be here now.